new traditions: on letting go

Happy Solstice

In cultivating something new from something old, today I set some time aside to look back and to look forward.

I’m most especially grateful to Susannah Conway for her Unraveling the Year which has inspired this practice. I first found her online workshop to find a word for the year one year ago (my word for this year was Focus – I have my word for next year, but that’s for another conversation).

Today was a bit of balance in the midst of the mayhem.

a corner of my home, my retreat from the world.

The end/beginning of a year,

all these holidays associated with all these belief groups,

the altogether headfucking climax of consumerism and consumption,

the magic and
the glitter and
the feasts,
the feelings and
tensions and
releases.

All that stuff.

All of it.

All the tradition.

tradition

[truh–dish–uh n]

noun

the handing down of statements, beliefs legends, customs, information, etc., from generation to generation, especially by word of mouth by practice: a story that has come down to us by popular tradition.

something that is handed down.

a long-established or inherited way of thinking or acting.

a continuing pattern of culture beliefs or practices.

a customary or characteristic method or >manner.

blah etc blah ….

So much is ingrained at a young age end passed on by generations.
For so many people.

Not me, not any more, I’ve made some adjustments to my ways, and that’s what I came here to tell you about today.

I don’t hark back to happy sparkly memories of childhood holiday fun. The people I was with at the time are all gone. This isn’t the place for detail – this isn’t a rabbithole of self pity – it’s just the context for what I’m writing about. And a nod to those who feel the same way. We know we aren’t alone, and we know we aren’t supposed to talk about it – it’s something like the emperor’s new clothes thing – if we begin to question why everyone is getting so tangled up in a frenzy of guilt induced consumption and confusion it all could just fall apart before us.

Here’s what I’m doing: I’m making my own traditions.

They are just for me. I don’t have kids, so these aren’t the foundation for any future other than my own. I started this a year ago, and in repeating them they’re evolving into my new traditions. They have meaning. They are a framework and a structure in an otherwise fairly arbitrary layout of days and free-floating lifestyle.

These short days and long nights at the turn of the year are my retreat. Amongst the usual duties of the days, amid the outside chaos, I’m squeezing in some extra time. Time in my home in candle glow, with my books and my music and my thoughts.

Balancing on today’s apex I look out in both directions: Reflecting & Consolidating; Planning & Wishing. Taking time to just soak in my life, look at what I’ve done and felt and learnt since the last time.

Since this time last year I’ve been blessed to meet and share time with some wonderful people who’ve brought me new understanding and genuine heartfelt joy. I’ve uncovered new music, new ideas, new strategies and new wisdoms.

I’ve begun to take better care of this body and soul. Forgiven her indiscretions and daftnesses. Appreciated her well meaning and abilities. Accepted her doings and goings as the best she could have done given what she had and knew at the time. Acknowledged she needs time, she needs peace and she needs rest, I realised no-one but me can allow this.

I’m trying to show her more kindness.

I’ve released a bunch of judgments.

I’m learning to reframe.

Wherever you are in this season, I wish you and your dearests an abundance of wellness and peace. Go gently, dear friends, be love. X

almost completely (50/52)

Every week this year I’ve worked on one page of this art journal.

There’s a poignancy to the last pages of a book, a wanting to eke out the fun….

mixed with a readiness to move on to new projects.
Oh so many new projects lined up!

This is an almost complete page of the almost complete book….

We’re so close to the end now I’m going to save the completed page until I can show you the whole book at once 🙂

ingredients of a week (49/52)

In no particular order, this week’s page is built out of these things…

Derwent XL Graphite (same folks who make the Inktense stuff). Big chunky blocks that are also water soluble. Great for grubby grimy grunge. Vague shapes and noises to form the ambiance.

Brené Brown vividly describes something I’ve been focused on this year, these words showed up this week…

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”

Scroobius Pip – The Beat That My Heart Skipped (and much more). Such a fine Wordsmith, a rhyming genius…

“Especially in this instance
Never ending persistence
To use the words in each sentence
As if they were blunt instruments
To beat a hole in their defence
Of this beauty and her innocence
Which serves to build resistance
In spite of all my good intents.”

Copic Pens (I don’t have them with me, I forget exactly which ones) – lovely delicate translucent colors. Layers of hazy background.

Sakura Gelly Roll Pens Oh my! I could just write for miles and miles in these pens. Buttery soft. Love. And some colours really zing too.

Regular old graphite pencils. Everything about writing and drawing in pencil whisks me back to childhood. Mixed memories. Shiny greys on the page, shiny grey smudges on pages, on hands, on faces… Timeless.

Carne Griffiths I fell across CG’s work again on DeviantArt this week. I remembered it from researching drawing styles online for an artschool project a couple of years or so back. Some aspects of his style has leaked back into my subconscious this week. (I’m glad)

Perspective. Is upsidedown intrinsically wrong and in need of re-orienting? Writing is more than words of information, it’s shapes and connections and flow. The angle of the eyeline defines the view not the object. That’s what everything in the news boils down to (from where I’m looking)

Pilot Gel Ink Pen Super rich black ink, words spill out with ease.

Thanks for dropping by…………X

a calling to the tribe

Edit 17 December: There are just TWO SPACES left to fill. If you’re hovering on the brink of signing up, this may be your last chance….

…You can whisk yourself over to HERE to soak up some more of the details to help you decide.

…………………………………………

A couple of posts ago I was telling you about IGNITE, the course I took with Dirtyfootprints Studio. I’m still resonating from the abundance I found there.

If it’s something you’re interested in exploring, Connie Solera, our beautiful guide and genius behind it all is offering a free information call on Monday December 14 @ 12pm PST / 3pm EST / 8pm GMT

If you can’t make the date there will be a recording available to all who register.

jumping across

I’m not rushing or hustling the old year out, I’m not one to wish my days away, but I am dipping newest thoughts into next month already.

Next month – Next year – Next incarnation of being me in this life.

While I’m indifferent to the big new years fuss that happens around midnight on 31 December, I do love the clean freshness of 1 January every time it comes round.

So much so, I don’t want to guzzle it all in one day, I want to savour it.

My routine, such that it’s becoming, begins toward the end of November and by Winter Solstice it’s up to full speed. Those last 10 days of the year represent the closing up of the old year. Loose ends neatly bundled, filed under the past.

As 2015’s page a week book winds up I’m already sewing the seeds for 2016’s year-sized art challenge.

To kick off I’m going to take on Belinda Fireman’s #selflove365 adventure of a daily 1″ square drawing.

PSWA5CT

I bought a concertina sketch book way back – I think with the intention to take it away on a trip – but either it didn’t go with me, or I didn’t find the time to fill the pages. Either way, it’s fresh and ripe and raw!

It’s already ready to be 2016-ed!

take 5: episode 1, at a crossroads

I was telling you yester-post how I’d reached a crossroads in my reimaginings. Here’s the thing:

A thing with which you’ll be familiar if the kind of art you make has the option to re-wind time….

Merrily trotting along to a certain point and Save;
Turn down a figurative side road,
Do more stuff,
Have an adventure.

….And also

Be back at that same junction,
and go a different route,
and have a different adventure – with a whole new cast of characters – and a uniquely new plot.

It’s like choosing between the many-worlds of quantum mechanics.

Now that I’ve dwelt on this a little while I like the idea of a Repeating Five-ness by making each episode of Take Five venture off in Five wildly different outcomes. Yay! Five times the fun!

But I digress. That comes after this:

This is where I’d value your opinion.

I know you’ll understand, as an artist, the hardest part is recognising that final tweak before you call a job jobbed and comfortably move on. Leaving it be. (I thought I was there.)

I really did.

The last change – IDK – do I like V1 or V2? I like them both. Which do I like more? The more I look, the less I know.

So it’s over to you guys…

Version 1:

take5_01smaller

Version 2:

take5_02small

…and a bit of detail from both. Just in case that helps any.

take5_01detail take5_02detail

Please help me choose before monkey-mind talks me into looking for versions 3 through 48. (She’s very persuasive…!)

TIA lovely ppl X

take 5: episode 1

Y’know how I’ve been revisiting my digital art? I’ve also been rooting through my online galleries. Some of those pieces date back almost a decade, and some still hold up well. But some were looking a bit tired, a bit shabby, or just plain meh. So I archived them away.

I’ve still got most of the images from which they were made, so over the next as-long-as-it-takes I plan to re-photoshop some of them into new works: Hybrids of old and new ideas. I love digital for many reasons – the ability to do this is a big one.

So you can guess the plan from the title, right?

I plan to Take Five images, and ~~frankenstein~~ re-imagine them together into a shiny new beautiful something.

These are the first Five contenders for the project.

photo of dull book page. Looks a bit mathy.

scanned doodled thing. Sea creature? Something abstractly multi-tentacled.

something a bit Celtic, and a bit unfinished. Watercolor and photoshop

sections of typed gibberish

a lovely gecko. (of course)

At the time of posting I’ve reached a crossroads in the making of the hybrid. I’ll explain later…

Weekend wisdom…

from Leonie Dawson…..

2016 Adventures…

What adventures do you have lined up for the upcoming year?

Are you a planner, or a wait’n’see-er? I’m a bit of both.

I like to have some looking-forward-to-things lined up, pre-booked, so that creeping apathy or the inner critic can’t persuade me to wriggle out. But if I start organising my time too much I get freaked, run away … sometimes have to sleep it off.

Since 2009 when I returned to education, I’ve taken on at least one big learning project each year. One in which I’ve had to show up to the commitment I made. Partly through a loyalty to the others involved, but mostly to myself. Accepting a challenge. Jumping in.

In 2015 joined up for IGNITE, an online course for women artists run by the gorgeously wonderful Connie Solera of Dirty Footprint Studio.

I was so inspired by Connie’s series of artist interviews, the 21 Secrets Conversations. Right from the off I was fascinated by listening to all these artists describe the path that’s led them through their careers. But even more than this, I kept going back to watch more, I was totally entranced by the joy and love that fills every episode. I just knew I’d found my tribe. I felt at home.

Over the year in IGNITE we developed and grew together as a group. We’re dotted about all over the world, so our meet ups were digital, but they were frequent and will be ongoing. It’s been the most amazing ride, through which I’ve got to meet and know some really inspiring new friends whose lives are in tune with the same creative energy.

…this video was part of a project I created back in the summer for IGNITE…

Emerging from the course I’ve got a much clearer understanding of my creative process, far more so than 3 years in conventional art education. I’ve developed a stronger sense of being-ness. A sense of freedom and possibility has replaced the sense of limbo I began the year in. I really generated the momentum for the bounding leap into my next paint-fueled adventures.

IGNITE is an intensive course, it runs annually. In 2016 the course will begin again in early January. So are you wondering….?

Are you at a point in your creativity where you feel ready to stretch forward into a more exciting, dynamic phase?

Does it make you feel skippy inside to think of becoming part of a global tribe of soulful spirits ?

At the time of writing I believe there are a handful of places left – so if you’re interested scoot over there now and check it out before they get snapped up. Ooh, and on top of that – this year Connie is enlisting four IGNITE Alumni to act as mentors. And yes, one of them is me 🙂

Come and join us – it will be so much fun!