Last month I declared my intent for a new phase of being me.
The new rules? there are no rules. This is my age of unruliness!
So to start off I’m simplifying; I’m streamlining.
I’m de-cluttering my life both literally and figuratively. Honestly, permanently and fundamentally. It’s proving a wrench to begin, if I’m honest about it, but I do believe once I build up a bit of momentum there’ll be nothing to stop me.
I’ve heard good things about Marie Kondo’s book “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up”, so I’m watching this as a substitute for reading it. I can’t add to the pile of to-read-next books that’s remained untouched for an uncomfortably long time now. And I love irony. I still can’t.
Through the first 45 years of this life I gathered and collected. I took things on and things built up – actual things and symbolic things – I inherited these traits along with a lot of accumulated junk and an assortment of mismatched thought patterns and beliefs.
And the conclusion I’ve drawn from looking into this? it’s exhausting, confusing and not something I’m prepared to pursue any further.
I’m really going to shake this whole bag of nonsense up and see what sticks and what falls off. If it falls off it’s not mine to care about any more.
Climbing out of that old existence. This time is my time.
I plan to free up enough space that I can stretch out both arms and touch the outer edges of my imagination. I think that this colourful outpouring is part of that process and all these troubled tense scribbles are an outlet. As are the hectic dreams of monsters and gremlins that bite my arms and chew on my feet in my sleep.
I want to be free to explore the dreams I always knew would find their time.
Their time is now.
3 thoughts on “unruliness”
I just love, love, love your writing voice. It is like poetry. So rich and focused.
Momentum is the word I am taking for myself today.
Thank you, thank you
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that’s so lovely to read, thank you Joan! X